Good day all the single-parents!
Hope you guys are well today. So the past weekend I've experience a very embarrassing incident and I would like to share it with my fellow peeps. As I've previously posted that I'm currently in a relationship and juggling between that and parenting my daughter.
So, I had a "flashback" of something that occurred on a regular basis in my past relationships that would scare me off or sent out red flags.
Disappointments and I don't really see eye to eye and when my boyfriend wanted to surprise me with an act of love - it hit me.
Recap
I was out camping this weekend with my friends - daughter was well taken care of, when my boyfriend also visited the same town with his friends.
When the text came through I was jumping and yelling and running to my friends, bragging about him - making time to see me!! Wow!! That was kind of a big deal for me.
But, time was an issue and blah blah blah..we didn't see each other and I was pissed. Okay, its all sorted out now, but I've found a list of seven thing or truths about woman like me. I do not make any excuses for my behavior, I'm just giving a broader picture.
Thanks to Kayla - please click on her name for more similar stories.
Kayla Cavanagh
7 BRUTAL Truths About Falling In Love With A Damaged Woman
1. We will want to look through your phone.
I can't help it. It's a compulsion. I will try really hard not to. In fact, I will talk myself out of it a million times. But I'm insecure, and all I have to go on is a previous relationship where my partner's phone was their lifeline and also included several other women.
I know you're not him. I know you're different. But old habits die hard.
2. We'll over-analyze everything you say.
Everything. If you tell me you're having a bad day, I will assume it's something I did. If you tell me you're angry, I will panic that I caused it somehow. If you tell me you're fine, I will over-analyze every nuance of that word until we're both exhausted.
3. We have a lot of baggage.
Ugh. So much baggage. And I'm really insecure about it, so if you could just pick up a suitcase or two to help me out, I'd really appreciate it.
4. We aplogize for everything.
Even stuff that isn't my fault. I will say "I'm sorry" more times in a day than I can count, and I will recognize that it's annoying and ridiculous, but I still can't stop myself. This is what happens when you were in a relationship where literally everything was your fault.
5. We're terrified of being manipulated.
And I refuse to let it happen again. I may say "I'm sorry" even when it's not my fault, but I will realize what I'm doing and make a mental note to not let you manipulate my feelings again.
6. We can be defensive.
The trouble with being damaged is that now I'm so paranoid that someone's trying to pull one over on me, that I'm super-defensive. I dare you to ask me why I didn't get any work done today or why I'm so exhausted. I will snap and I will be defensive and angry, assuming you're calling me out for being a bad mom, person, and woman all in one.
I know this isn't true. But this is how I feel.
7. We recognize we do all of these things and we work hard to have our own self-worth.
Trust me, I know these weaknesses are mine. I know that I have to own them and overcome them one step at a time. I know that I need my own self-worth so that I don't panic when you get a text at 3 AM or when you tell me I can trust you.
But the best part about being damaged is that there's only one way to go now, and I will bust my ass every day to be a strong, independent woman with her own self-worth. It just might take me a little longer than I'd like.
Everyone talks about dating someone who's "damaged." But here's the thing: no matter how much repair work I've done, I'm still a little damaged on the inside.
All it means is that I'm better in relationships than ever before. I recognize my negative emotions, I know what to expect, and most importantly? I know what I deserve. And I won't take any less, damaged or not.
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